![]() ![]() Encourage healthy social media habits.Make sure they stay in touch with other caring people in their lives: friends, teammates and family members who can give them support. Let them know you hear how they are feeling and how difficult it is, and that what they are feeling is normal. Don’t feel like you need to respond or offer advice. How parents can support kids through first heartbreak The good news is you can still be supportive even if you feel caught off guard. Another reason why a child’s first heartbreak may be difficult for parents is today’s kids may be starting relationships at younger ages than you did, so you may not feel prepared to have these conversations when you need to have them. If that happens, acknowledge it, and process your feelings with a trusted friend, not with your child. Your child’s heartbreak might bring up unpleasant or painful memories from your past. Remember, this is a new experience for them and for you. It’s always hard to see your child in pain, and it is especially tough when you watch them go through new kinds of hurt, like their first heartbreak. Also, kids compare themselves to others and care a lot about what others think, so rejection can feel magnified by knowing that their heartbreak is “public knowledge.” Why first heartbreak is so overwhelming for parents The nature of first heartbreak means your child hasn’t ever gone through this – they haven’t experienced feeling better with time and caring about someone new, so it can be hard for them to imagine things getting better. ![]() The first time your child rides a bike, visits a new place, or goes through a breakup, those memories take on a heightened status. The first time humans experience anything, emotions and memories associated with that event are more significant than emotions and memories of experiences that follow. Why first heartbreak is overwhelming for kids It’s never easy to see your child hurting, but you can ease their struggle by remaining open and available to listen. “Every time you talk to them, you open up another energy tie between you, and your goal is to break those energetic ties, not to keep creating them,” says Hendrix.Our first love can be a highly emotional experience and the same goes for first heartbreak. Just be cautious that those “innocent check-ins” don’t become a habit. Brief, occasional communication-like, “Hey, could we talk for a few minutes? I’m having a hard time with this”-could be okay. That said, there’s no hard-and-fast rule about contacting your ex, she says. It allows you to break your attachment to your former partner. “If you give in to this feeling and see your ex again, you’ll struggle to move forward and find yourself stuck months and maybe even years later.” (That’s why Mend promotes a 60-day “ex detox.”)Ĭutting off all contact in the beginning is healthy, agrees Hendrix. “When your partner is no longer there, you start to crave those feel-good hormones,” she explains. ![]() There’s a scientific reason heartbreak hurts so much: You actually go through withdrawal-like symptoms after a breakup because the feel-good hormones you got from your partner are suddenly gone, says Elle Huerta, founder of Mend, an app and online community designed to help people post-breakup. “The oldest part of our brain, which we share with all mammals and many other animals, has a circuit of brain regions-the panic/grief/sadness system-that gets activated when we experience the loss of an important relationship.” “It’s important to understand that we humans come hardwired with the ability to experience pleasure from our intimate connections and pain form heartbreak,” says Nan Wise, PhD, a sex therapist, neuroscientist, relationship expert, and the author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life. Understanding how your mind works-and how to work it better-can be helpful after breaking up. While there’s no surefire way to avoid a broken heart (unless you’re an unfeeling robot, of course), there is a way through it-even if, at the moment, you truly believe you’ll never be happy again. Wondering how to get over someone is a universal experience-so then why does it feel so isolating? On a scale of 1 to torturous, getting your heart broken is a solid “absolutely awful.” Most of us have been there at some point, left questioning how to move on or how to best end a relationship. ![]()
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